I hate being a feminist because… patriarchy is so shit

I hate being a feminist because there is a big long list of things that I can’t enjoy now (compared to when I didn’t see the world with a critical feminist eye)! I can imagine some of you feel the same. Ever since I had my feminist ‘light bulb’ moment, the way I viewed the world fundamentally changed.

Summary of my light bulb moment: I was in my first lecture for ‘International Gender Politics’ at Melbourne University, anticipating the greatness and terror that is Sheila Jeffreys. I say ‘greatness and terror’ only because her reputation proceeded her and I didn’t know whether I was going to fall in love with the subject or swing completely the other way. Well, I loved it. Sheila was and is greatness! Despite me not always agreeing with some of her radical feminist views, she is an amazing teacher and without her I wouldn’t even know what a radical feminist view was, let alone where it had developed from and the worldview it promotes. The lady is amazing (even if you don’t agree with her)!

But any way, I’m rambling. Here is the list of things I can’t enjoy or do any more because everywhere I look I see evidence of stupid-refusing-to-die-patriarchy:

  • can’t enjoy movies or TV shows – am always asking, ‘why aren’t there more female characters?’ and ‘why do all the female characters have to be dressed the same way?’
  • can’t stand advertisements – SO SEXIST – and there’s no way of replying, other than getting cross and sending a complaint to the Advertising Standards Bureau – which we all should do, remember dear feminausts, our voices are powerful.
  • can’t attend public lectures or discussions without asking one of the organisers why there wasn’t an equal gender representation on the panel – I once emailed the Melbourne Cricket Club (of which I am a member) requesting to see more women speaking at functions and they told me they select speakers ‘on merit’.
  • can’t watch music videos.
  • can’t stand conversations that include the phrase ‘I think it’s just a male/female thing’ or ‘men/women are just naturally…[insert sexist generalisation here]” – read Delusions of Gender if you ever use those phrases without quantifying your generalisation with a discussion of how gender roles are socialised and not innate.
  • can’t wear lipstick, then decide I can because I’m a feminist, then change my mind again when wearing lipstick makes me think twice about drinking or eating in case I smudge it. still not sure how I feel about it. generally feel hungry and thirsty.
  • can’t watch sport on TV (which is inevitably all-male) without screaming “women can play sport too you know!”
  • can’t stand people who use the word ‘slut’ casually.

There’s a milliion more but those were just the ones I’ve been thinking about recently. What’s on your list? Send it through to info@feminaust.org or tweet us @feminaust, using #feministanger or post something on our facebook page. There’s a lot to be angry about feminausts, it’s time we were making lists!

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About IsBambi

IsBambi is an administrator for feminaust. She is also a young woman excited about all things to do with feminism, skiing, British TV, dogs called Trevor and cycling. In addition to trying to do too much at once, she enjoys empowering young people and dragging men into the feminist debate.

4 thoughts on “I hate being a feminist because… patriarchy is so shit

  1. I recently started in a new job and getting to know the people – who all have kids – is interesting. When they talk about their families, the inevitable prefix is, “Because she’s a girl,” or “It’s such a boy thing to do,” or “You wouldn’t think she’s a lesbian, but…” I don’t know anyone well enough yet to feel comfortable interjecting with my gender-neutral musings, but it’s really interesting and troublesome to see and hear these things from an outside, feminist point of view.

  2. Yes these seems to be the ‘norm’ these days….its not like people want to come and be open about their sexuality…particluar so if they happen to be homophobic or conservative….I basically screw my nose up to those ignorant types….which incendently may appear from sub-cultures that hold their own opionions or rather conservative religious folk!

    • It’s pretty disturbing hey! It’s so weird that people can have a great discussion about gender equality (in the workplace even) but in the next breath comment unthinkingly about how their kids, or other children they know, totally gender-conform. If you haven’t read Cordelia Fine’s book ‘Delusions of Gender’ you really should!!!

  3. Pingback: Welcome to Monday ~ 14 May 2012 | feminaust ~ for australian feminism

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