How to Spot “Wokefishing” – The Newest Dating Cheating

Add “wokefishing” to your list of things to avoid when dating online.

Just when we thought modern dating couldn’t get any tougher, a new branch of deceptive “wokefish” daters are here to distract us in our quests for love.

We thought we’d grown accustomed to dodging other misguided dating trends — catfishing, kittenfishing, ghosting, and breadcrumbs — but wakefishing has emerged from the darkest corners of popular dating apps, offering people another way to impersonate themselves online.

What is “wake fishing”?

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A wokefish, a term coined by VICE Journalist Serena Smith, refers to anyone online who presents themselves as holding liberal views but, in reality, fails to put what they profess online into meaningful action in real life.

He’s someone who insinuates or gives off vibes that he’s woke, but actually carries a lot of conservative social and political views.

Know someone who posted a black square on their Instagram feed for #BlackLivesMatter, but continues to use racist language when talking behind people’s backs? They are awakened fish.

See someone write a #SaveTheTurtles message with a picture of their metal straw, but fail to mention that they use that straw in disposable plastic Starbucks cups every day? They too are wokefish.

Wakefishing is often not as malicious or intentional as catfishing. People may sincerely think they are progressive in their views, but fail to self-reflect and change their own negative behaviors.

Wokefish are simply uninformed or lack self-awareness. However, that doesn’t make it any less boring to watch.

While you might ignore these hypocrisies when they come from a distant relative or co-worker, they can be especially frustrating or even offensive when they come from someone you’re dating.

If ever asked “my type” when it comes to dating, we usually simply respond with the obligatory “tall, handsome with a sense of humor”. But, in reality, these are rather insignificant boxes to tick when it comes to compatibility.

If you and the person you’re dating disagree about important social issues that affect our daily lives, how will your relationship fare in the long run?

How to catch a “Wokefish”

Problems with dating a wokefish can take a while to show up depending on your situation, but when they do, it can hurt your relationship.

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Things might be fine with the girl you swiped on because she had a pride flag in her bio, but then you notice she refuses to use the correct pronouns of your trans friends. Or, you’re thrilled to date your ultra-feminist boyfriend until he shames you for your outfit choice.

If your social, moral, and political values ​​are not something you want to compromise on in a relationship, you need to be on the lookout for this dating deception as you navigate the world of online dating.

Here’s how to catch a wokefish before it drags you too far.

1. Beware of virtue signals.

Sometimes those who shout the loudest actually have the least to say.

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Anyone who strongly promotes progressive views on their dating profiles might misunderstand the meaning of the movements they claim to support. The Black Lives Matter movement wasn’t invented just to be included in a dating biography.

Often wokefish say just what they think you want to hear, so if you say you’re a feminist, they’ll say they are too, only to have them continue to use derogatory language when talking about their female colleagues.

These important social justice movements are not personality traits! Stop using them to get likes and swipes on social media.

2. Ask their points of view.

Political debates aren’t a usual pick-up line choice, but sometimes it’s worth digging into someone’s claims to see how dedicated they really are to their views.

If someone has mentioned that they are a feminist, anti-racist, climate activist or any other social justice claim, use that as a conversation starter. If they mean well, they probably talked about it because they want to talk about it anyway.

Ask them what they have done to support the movement they claim to be part of. Have they read good books on feminism? Have you attended a Black Lives Matter march? Lobbyed their local politicians about climate action?

3. Observe how they treat others.

It’s easy for a woke fish to treat you with all the respect you deserve. After all, it’s you they’re trying to impress.

But watch how people treat the people they are not trying to get something is a much more accurate judge of character.

Take note of how they react to people of different races, backgrounds, or genders. Are they condescending to women? Do they take the time to understand other cultures? Do they respect the pronouns chosen by people? How do they react to differences in accent, dress style or religion?

These are all really useful clues to who they are deep down, rather than who they pretend to be.

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4. Pay attention to their language.

What may seem like throwaway comments or passing remarks can speak volumes. Obviously, using racial slurs, sexist words, or discriminatory terms is a sure sign that you’ve been woken up, but there are also more subtle things to watch out for.

The Wokefishes love to get attached to feminism, but then talking about women or men explains every last thing. Or they insist on describing people by their race or religion when these indicators are not relevant or helpful.

Pay attention to the kind of humor they rely on to come across as funny. Do they make fun of minorities? imitate women? If your date has to be offensive to be funny, it probably isn’t funny at all.

5. Look for actions rather than words.

We are all guilty of not always practicing what we preach, but when it comes to fighting for important causes, actions speak louder than words.

If you’re dating someone who claims to be “woke” and politically aware, but you can’t see it for yourself, that’s a huge red flag. Some things are blatant, like when your animal rights activist vegan date orders a cheeseburger for dinner.

But even more subtle things should tell you a lot, like the books they read, their ability to speak out against injustices, or where they get their news. Even the desire to learn is a good sign.

You can’t expect your date to be successful all the time, but if he’s wrong in his language, views, or opinions, and he doesn’t want to learn from others and accept them more , you might have a wokefish on your hands.

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Alice Kelly is a writer and storyteller with a passion for lifestyle, entertainment and current affairs. When she’s not creating content for Your Tango, you can catch her working on creative fiction and vintage shopping.

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